Wisdom

I just read through my last blog post from 2 years ago. 2 years ago!! I've really missed this outlet of blogging and I hope to maintain some record keeping of my sweet babes and wild thoughts.
My babies are my world (as well as run my little world) but thats not whats been rattling around in my head that I'd like to exorcise.

I've been thinking about age a lot lately. Not just the typical thoughts of mine like "I want to be done having kids by....." or "How is it fair to already have grey hair?"

More like the time I've earned.

The wisdom I've gained, or have yet to gain.

I don't think about age the same way most people do. I feel like my age is not something to be proud of, I often feel like lying and adding on a few years when spilling my magic number. Like it could help me gain some credibility.

I feel like my age limits me, shows weakness and inexperience.

I've earned every year, but have so much more to learn that I feel handicapped by this number.
Not that i'm in a hurry, nor do I feel there is a specific goal in mind. Maybe it's more that I feel like i'm becoming or catching up to where I belong. Arriving.

This year (soon even!) i'll be turning 30! I don't feel the trepidation that I had been expecting. None of the standard thoughts.
Sure, I could have a better car, whiter teeth,  higher degree, thinner hips, nicer house...... Where was I going with this?  Oh yes, but where it counts, I'm very wealthy. I'm glad for the brain in my head, the family I've helped to create, and so many other things little and big too numerous to name.

But the point of my rambling, the reason for my coming out of blog coma is this:
With all this "wisdom" I've cultivated, I've come to a realization. I've always had good instincts, and I've always been pretty smart and right about things.
Thats not bragging, I promise. It's not bragging because I didn't know to respect this since growing up I was bombarded with well meaning advice to listen to my elders.
"They've been there, listen to them, don't trust your emotions."
So I didn't, why should I trust myself? I was just a young girl with no experience, life told me.

The more life I've lived and the experience I've gained, I've learned that I really should have respected and trusted my instincts. That I had a unique perspective on life, which was only lessoned by my complete lack of confidence in it's validity.

To sum up; Not only should we respect the wisdom of others that have come before us and have gained unique perspectives in different ways, but also that we should listen, respect and give credibility to the instincts of our less experienced. Whatever your beliefs, all can attest to witnessing remarkable gifts, abilities and insights children are inherently born with. Give them confidence in their ability to discern those instincts, and use them.
Who knows? You may even learn something.

Well... that was weird...

Last year our laptop broke and i stopped blogging for a couple months while we saved to replace it... and then i cant remember why i never started back up....
I love to blog, since this is where i am the best at keeping track of the things we do and the funny things K says.
Its a great outlet for frustration, creativity and my only replacement for scrap-booking and journaling (since we all know i'm not gonna do that).
So yes, that year off was weird for so many reasons.... This last year has been so full of incredibly hard times, crazy happenings and happy moments. I'm a little sad i wasn't better at getting those memories down... oh well maybe i can catch up furiously over the next couple of months
Hold onto your hats! You followers!! Er.. follower (Mom)

I think i'll just briefly start with the story of Bennett's arrival:

Sweet, sweet, happy baby Bennett was NOT planned. In fact, we were actively trying NOT to get pregnant. Which, in contrast to the struggle the first time was a huge shock!
It was on a trip to visit the Driggers in AL, when i noticed i had packed some [feminine products] and not used them. I am nothing if not punctual.
Once i realized this, I quickly purchased tests at the local Huntsville Target and couldn't even wait to leave the store before using one.
The first witness to the impending arrival was Carrie. My shock was evident and with trembling hands decided to wrap up a gift to tell BJ.
It happened to be his birthday and the whole family went out to dinner to celebrate, and in front of everyone he opened my gift.
I was a little terrified that, if i had told him in private, he would've been sad/upset/angry and needed him (even if pretend) to be happy about the news.
Well he put on a good face but we were both terrified about the financial aspect of it, along with having another person sharing our already cramped quarters, and being responsible for yet another human beings welfare! Overwhelmed doesn't begin to describe how we felt.
Guilt for feeling scared.
Thrilled to experience baby times again!
Fear of the un-known $$, how we were going to afford everything with poor insurance, working/daycare etc.
Elation at the feel of every kick!
Sadness at the thought that I was putting more pressure on BJ.
I felt a little bi-polar as i'm sure many pregnant woman can relate to.

This pregnancy was harder, i got sicker and was bone-tired a lot of the time. I referred to new baby as a jerk for making me so sick.

Its amazing how that can all fly away the moment you see that tiny, innocent face.
My water broke at 2 a.m. on my birthday 2 weeks before my due date. He was born at 12:25 a.m. the next morning. We were so close to sharing a birthday! Going into labor could not have been a better birthday present, having been put on bed rest a couple weeks before and it was driving me bonkers!

He came quickly after several hours of crazy yoga poses to get him in the right position.
Thank heaven for epidurals!!
His beautiful perfect face greeted me and he hasn't stopped making me smile since! Seriously the happiest baby I have ever known!!

Tulip Festival

On saturday, while BJ was working, Kenley and I piled into a car with my dad, step-mom, brotha Evan and step-grandma and drove down to the tulip festival at Thanksgiving point.

The weather was perfect and we are all sporting funny little tan lines today.

The waterfalls were gorgeous! They are the largest man-made waterfalls in the US.

 Kenley had to stop and smell the flowers several times after spotting another little girl doing it. She even kept making "Mmmm" noises. She had a great time "riding" with grandpa in his wheelchair.

 It was kind of a big deal, there were food tents, dancers, booths, fountains, ponds with fish and, of course, gorgeous plants and flowers everywhere.

 Blowing kisses at the fake turtle

It was a lot of fun, I highly recommend going!

Easter

I just realized I never posted anything about our Easter Eggstravaganza!! (Too cheesy?)

This was the first year we took Kenley out for an easter egg hunt. I think we had more fun than her, since she was recovering still from her ear infection. But we still managed to make a day of it.

We went to Wheeler Farm, where it's kind of a big deal.

We got to meet the Easter Bunny, go on a wagon ride, and got a bag of candy. It was joyous.

This is us in the "Toddler area" waiting to be herded to our egg huntin' spot.

This place is awesome, for more reasons than I can name :)

We had a limit as to how many eggs we could take, but K was on a roll and wanted to pick up every single egg and open all of them. (they were brilliantly empty, to keep people from going nuts)

Of course my camera wouldn't turn on when we got there, so these crappy camera pics are the only shots I got.

I'll have to post pics of her in her adorable easter dress soon.