Wisdom

I just read through my last blog post from 2 years ago. 2 years ago!! I've really missed this outlet of blogging and I hope to maintain some record keeping of my sweet babes and wild thoughts.
My babies are my world (as well as run my little world) but thats not whats been rattling around in my head that I'd like to exorcise.

I've been thinking about age a lot lately. Not just the typical thoughts of mine like "I want to be done having kids by....." or "How is it fair to already have grey hair?"

More like the time I've earned.

The wisdom I've gained, or have yet to gain.

I don't think about age the same way most people do. I feel like my age is not something to be proud of, I often feel like lying and adding on a few years when spilling my magic number. Like it could help me gain some credibility.

I feel like my age limits me, shows weakness and inexperience.

I've earned every year, but have so much more to learn that I feel handicapped by this number.
Not that i'm in a hurry, nor do I feel there is a specific goal in mind. Maybe it's more that I feel like i'm becoming or catching up to where I belong. Arriving.

This year (soon even!) i'll be turning 30! I don't feel the trepidation that I had been expecting. None of the standard thoughts.
Sure, I could have a better car, whiter teeth,  higher degree, thinner hips, nicer house...... Where was I going with this?  Oh yes, but where it counts, I'm very wealthy. I'm glad for the brain in my head, the family I've helped to create, and so many other things little and big too numerous to name.

But the point of my rambling, the reason for my coming out of blog coma is this:
With all this "wisdom" I've cultivated, I've come to a realization. I've always had good instincts, and I've always been pretty smart and right about things.
Thats not bragging, I promise. It's not bragging because I didn't know to respect this since growing up I was bombarded with well meaning advice to listen to my elders.
"They've been there, listen to them, don't trust your emotions."
So I didn't, why should I trust myself? I was just a young girl with no experience, life told me.

The more life I've lived and the experience I've gained, I've learned that I really should have respected and trusted my instincts. That I had a unique perspective on life, which was only lessoned by my complete lack of confidence in it's validity.

To sum up; Not only should we respect the wisdom of others that have come before us and have gained unique perspectives in different ways, but also that we should listen, respect and give credibility to the instincts of our less experienced. Whatever your beliefs, all can attest to witnessing remarkable gifts, abilities and insights children are inherently born with. Give them confidence in their ability to discern those instincts, and use them.
Who knows? You may even learn something.