Un-Sexy Halloween??

Halloween is one of my favorite days of the year. I love dressing up and having an excuse to get together with good friends and play some games and watch spooky movies. Little kids in their costumes are so darling!

But... one of the things thats really confusing to me is the mass of "Sexy" costumes (AKA: lingerie with a tail, or hat, or combat boots to complete the ensemble). Maybe its that i'm not a "flaunting" kind of girl, but some of these costumes are truly mind boggling as to why such characters were turned into something so provocative. I understand that showing skin is the goal with these.

The following, however, leave me with questions.......

Snow-woman

Simple white nightie with 3 buttons and a scarf for this one. Or if you prefer, white underwear with three dots plastered to your skin. I never imagined my lumpy snow figure with a carrot in his face was something to aspire to.....

Animals: Dog, cat, Fish???

Can you say Bestiality? Sexy heroins such as Cat Woman aside, just because you love your Mr. Whiskers doesn't mean you need to dress up like him. Cats lick themselves and cough up hair balls, nuff said. Fish?? Really?? How are slimy things known for their bad smell attractive?

Santa/Elf

Not only is it the wrong Holiday, but who knew matronly Mrs. Clause had a boob job to look good on Christmas eve in her Bustier.

Raggedy Ann Doll

This must get some girl thinking she's gonna make something quirky and sexy.... Awful! I don't think children's toys should hold any sex-appeal. Look at her name "Raggedy". Raggedy+Sexy= ?? Same goes for you Rainbow Brite!

Sponge bob

Sure he looks happy to be plastered across her chest, but lets face it-its creepy and ugly.

Football/Baseball

Everything in my past has proven to me that when youre playing sports, you want to do everything in your power to strap those sweater puppies down. But, this costume seems to have a double purpose-showing off your assets while simultaneously letting all those guys think you have something in common. "Hey look! I like sports too!"

Referee

Doesn't make sense to me either. I've never seen a ref that wasn't a balding middle-aged man. Once again, stop pretending to love sports to give the opposite sex a false sense of camaraderie.

Taxi Driver

Do you have a dirty mouth and a bad attitude? People will think its all a great act when you dress up as this. I still don't know how a woman can be considered sexy when she's chain smoking and cursing about the Cubs.

Eve

This is just lazy. Don't have a costume ready for the big Halloween party? Don't stress! Just glue a few strategically placed leaves onto yourself and Voila! Not only does it reveal your toned tummy, but you'll appear deep and biblical.

Zombie

Wanna be scary and sexy this Halloween? A zombie is a good way to go. Just slather yourself in green makeup so your skin looks like its rotting off and hike your tattered skirt up. You will be both terrifying and completely alluring!